Sharing stories of fear, frustration, hope and acceptance

Archive for May, 2012

Live Your Way to the Answer

I beg you… To have patience with everything unresolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves as if they were locked rooms or books written in foreign language. Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. The point is to love everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps someday far in the future, you will gradually without even noticing it LIVE YOUR WAY TO THE ANSWER.
by: Rainer Maria Rilke

A Question: What will Adam’s quality of life be??

An Answer: Who am I to judge the quality of ones life. I am living my way to this answer and I am sure that Adam and God have much more to teach me.

Adam’s Neuro Surgeon described
Adams journey perfectly, “He is on the slow boat to China, but he can make it there.”
As ill as Adam has been his spirit, his soul, his personality bursts through.He is not one to surrender to illness easily. He leaves me with only one choice….. KEEP ROWING 

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Simple Things

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ADAM IS LOOKING AT HIS GLOWMATE LIGHT IN A MIRROR HANGING ABOVE. It changes colors 😀

What is the TRUE meaning of life?
What REALLY matters after all is said and done?
I have asked myself questions like this hundreds of times.
THE ANSWER: it’s the simple things that matter.

Today Adam was more awake since his second brain surgery (hemispherectomy). He actually moved his Left hand a lot. I think I saw a tiny smirk of a smile on his right cheek. He even made eye contact with me for a second. His progress is steady, he only had two seizures since the surgery and the UCLA Neuro surgery Doctor Mathyrn said it could be because he is withdrawing from the versed (seizure medicine). He was put on this before surgery because he went into status. He started at a dose of 3 and now he is at .05.
The weening process has been soo slow- almost there.

In the meantime among all the complications and uncertainty I try to remain patient and continue to find reasons to appreciate the simplest of things like…. The taste of food, basic mobile abilities, the sun on my back, the smile of a loved one, or the touch of a hand, or a phone call at the very moment you feel alone. Yes indeed it’s the simple things that matter and I hope I never forget or lose this new found appreciation.